Blinded Love

When you do not know your worth, you allow yourself to put up unnecessary pain and hurt from those closest to you. This dysfunction is prevalent among girls who never had a Father to give them
the love they deserve.  This happens to girls who come across that one guy who they believe is "the one." Years later, if they make it out of that damaged filled relationship, they are left scarred for life from putting all their trust in Blinded Love

You may not see all I've endured
Bruises long ago healed
Heart blackened from callous remarks
Wounded esteem
As was supposed to be of self
I shared with the unworthy
Allowing you to treat it
Shape it
And mold it
Like a freshly opened container of Play-Doh
Hard hands tugging
Smashing
Flattening
Dropping
Poking
Then discarding it
Like it never brought joy into your sorry a$$ life
Play-Doh
Me
I
Allowed YOU
To mix your pessimism
Hypocrisy
Cynicism
Raining on my humble parade.
You ask why I say "humble?"
Humble because all that I had, was appreciated, that is
Until YOU told me how bad I had it
I didn't know how used and unloved I was
Until YOU told me so
Should I thank you?
Well Dear, I will never know
If I were to take your word as THE WORD
I should kiss your feet
As you, who so unselfishly, put on your cape and "rescued" me
Truthfully
You just ended up hurting me
More than anyone else in my life

You may not see it all
Clouded
Warrant-less
Anger-filled bias judgment
That only allows you to see your good
Walking around with the arrogant "Wish a nigga would" pseudo swag
But the scale has fallen aside
As the bad spills out
Topples over
Spreads out wide
Crashes to the floor
Don't go !!!
Wait, there's more...

But I am too weak and strained to endure
Ongoing neglect
Blatant disrespect
Dying for you to officially be someone else's upset
Or better yet
Their rigged game of Russian Roulette
As you play with their life
Health
Sanity
And a little bit of wealth
While you act like you're the only game in town
I frown
As my high has come tumbling down
No longer am I mesmerized by the "good guy," "victim of circumstance" disguise
I failed the test
And go home to my sloppy seconds prize
You're far from a diamond in the rough
As I drive along
Built Ford tough
Down a road unplanned, but foolishly unanticipated
Good intentions, now hated
I live frustrated
Far from elated
But at times
I still smile
My joy will never be stolen
Faith unwavering
Living life favoring
Mentally preparing for the day
When WE will truly be no more


(c) 2013 NixRises All Rights Reserved

True Love Is Dead

True Love Is Dead

Oh I think he likes me
He winks his eye, on the sly
Oh I think he likes me
He says he wants to replace my guy
Be my everything and all the man I'll ever need
Trying to see some skin, raunchy pictures
"Baby, please..."
He begs some more and I decline
Now I'm nothing but a tease
True love is dead
I thought he liked me
On to the next one
He can deceive

-May 9, 2013
Written by Kesh

(c) 2013 NixRises All Rights Reserved

Subliminals

The eyes never lie...

I see you
The bond we share
Stronger than two tons of steel
Solid as a rock
No pseudo
Oh so real
I know how much you care
No words have to be said
For your eyes tell the story
Saying all that's unsaid
You watch me sashay
I seem to float around the room
I sense your eyes
Staring between my thighs
It is safe for me to assume
I know what you want
Where you want it
And how you want to do
And with my eyes I express
Just how badly
I want you too

Our connection is unmatched
Raw
Cannot be contained
There's no one to blame
You and I are one in the same
Natural love
That's the special bond we possess
Nothing less
Highly blessed
And tonight
We'll be panting the word:
"YES!"

But right now
We must play it cool
Maintain our composure
Be classy
Those are the rules
But I see you, my love
And I know you see me too
But until then
We'll tone it down until I say when
While we just enjoy the view

Written February 11, 2013

(c) 2013 NixRises All Rights Reserved

My Son, My World, My Love

My Son, My World, My Love





The joy in my life
My reason for breathing
For striving
For pressing on
After all that has gone wrong
You're not only my son, but you're my center
The stars, that is you
As your eyes brightly twinkle
Illuminating rooms from afar





My grayest skies are brightened as you chuckle
And then laugh
An infectious sound in you can be found
My love for you is boundless
Unconditional
Everlasting
Unwavering
And profound

It is deeper than the Mariana Trench
More intense than a touch from the sun itself
My son
My world
My love
How can I repay you for all you have given to me?
A reason for living
A divine purpose
The greatest gift God bestowed to me
I am beyond lucky
I am blessed
My devotion I express
As my undying love
I give to you
I guarantee

Written December 2012 (revised March 2013)

(c) 2012-2013 NixRises All Rights Reserved

Senses of a Lost Love

Aching feeling when I hear your voice
Imagining your lips moving, but I can no longer taste them
Nor can I smell your scent
I remember the strength
Of your arms around me
Heaven-sent
The protection I felt
Unimaginable
Alpha quality
100%
Neither space nor time can change what I feel
The respect
Adoration
Admiration
The love
Yes, I truly love this man
It didn't take distance and states to realize this
But mistakes
And circumstances
To thirst for that bliss
Knowing in my heart of hearts
That if I was again given the desires of my soul
To be united with you
By all senses
I will forever be true
Eternally
Man and wife
For I've had a taste of the bitter pill called "Life...
Without you"
It's Rotten
Tart
Disgusting
Harsh and sharp
Flavors I can't fathom to savor
Those I never want to experience again
Being without my greatest love
The one my mind sees as
My man

Written by Kesh
-Feb 22, 2013

(c) 2013 NixRises All Rights Reserved

Pothole-Coated Road

Pothole-Coated Road

Twists & turns on a pothole-coated road
The goodyear's wearing thin
Such an unexpected roller coaster ride
What was to be a wondrous journey
Has my stomach upset
My face grim

I look around
There's no one beside me
Not a soul for my sight
Silence fills the air
The fog
Cotton ball thick on this night
And the chill...
It envelopes me
Like a heavy blanket of despair

I roll up the windows
As I travel slowly along
Cautiously moving forward
Prepared for any sudden moves
Daring the night to move
Wanting the night to move
Only then will I have company
Someone
Anyone
Instead of this nagging
Urking
Solitude

No music
No laughter
Dried tears creating a crusty face
I choke back the many more that want to fall
As fear builds up
Fear of the unknown
Fear of what lies ahead
On this
Pothole-coated
Fog surrounded
Darkness covered road

Written by Kesh
February 8, 2013

(c) 2013 NixRises All Rights Reserved

Vernacular Strength

Vernacular Strength

From tragedy to triumph, I too shall rise
Mistaking my kindness for weakness?
Don't do it!
It's just a disguise
When I open my blouse
You'll see the 'K' on my chest
'K' is for Kick A$$ Female
With a fierce upper left
Only a tad bit physically
My hook's figuratively
Don't like to fight
But I may bite
My words will sting royally
Ends up killing you softly
Fugees
Roberta Flack
May give you a flashback
Maybe a heart attack
My words are far from whack
'Cause whatever I lack
I find, then bring it back
Subtract from the negative
Positively attack
But I'll just swing on back
Might even get side-tracked
Then I backtrack becoming the Fullback

As I...

Dodge and block the poison that's spewed
Talk is cheap
Haters are weak
Everyone knows how they do
Don't get angry
No need to argue
Cutting edge
This sword's my pledge
Now I must bid you "Adieu"
I'm through

By Kesh
Written January 28, 2013

(c) 2013 NixRises All Rights Reserved