Letter To My Dad - July 2005
Where is this place that men go?
When they don't want to be men no more
After promising devotion and professing love
They seem to be swallowed whole
Or sucked in an abyss
Never to be seen from or heard of again
After she begins carrying the life they created
"How convenient,"one might say
But I ask where is this place that men go
That has no telephones to call to say:
"Happy Birthday!"
No paper to write and ask "How are you doing?"
Or stamps for a 10 cent postcard
Just to say, "Hey!"
Where is this place that men go?
Where they feel no remorse or even shame
The Lord forgives the sins of man,
But will I?
Your biological
Your first-born
Your child
I too am able to forgive man's sins
But not from someone who's less than one
Where were you when I was sick?
What kept you from my many graduations?
Honor roll ceremonies?
Why weren't you there to ask my dates 20 questions?
Or to walk me down the aisle?
Why were you there to videotape YOUR grandchild's birth?
Fifty percent of me is unknown
And no one can give me a good reason why
So tell me
Where is this place that men go?
Where they can leave their seeds behind
Yet accept another woman and her child
The same age and same gender AS YOUR OWN
as your own?
What kind of person does that?
What kind of woman remains with someone who does that?
Two peas from the same rotten pod you might say
I'll agree to that with a nod
Is it really possible that people who do this
Believe they are going to "find" their child one day?
I wasn't the one lost
But you...
Who was missing from my life
Was
And will always be
Lost to me
And my newly created family
So dad, you can stay in your hiding place
With your wife and your kids
And remain unknown to me
Although the world says you should pay
Your "secret" will remain safe with me
When you meet the Lord
Maybe you can answer why you abandoned me
For another
To take care of another
But to me
You died in the Army
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